Chapter 12: TARFUN
As opposed to SNAFU, TARFUN is an acronym meaning, “Things Are Really Fucked Up Now.” This was the perfect description for the situation that the rag-tag group of fighters was in right now. As Aquilifon’s true form started walking out of the building, and as the Black Guards marched in, their guns pointed at the group; the situation seemed hopeless.
Charnaiz was having problems of his own – his pregnant wife lay with the prophetess Valeri, dying from a gunshot wound, and his objective was a lost cause as Aquilifon had completed his true form.
Shruiken was without a weapon, as Krovin had flung his weapon some thirty feet up – on the back of a stone Gargoyle. Without his katana, he was only as good as his martial arts skills were – and those weren’t going to do him much good against an army of Black Guards who were armed to the teeth – not to mention the tank.
Dym was torn in half, lamenting over the loss of his legs and that other part… which was useless if he was RI anyway, but still worth lamenting. His vitals continued to drop, albeit very slowly, and he was at death’s door for the second time, so to speak.
Murad al’Khefar’s hands were soaked with sweat, and straining from the blows he had to block from Krovin’s sword. The black knight hated him with an intense burning heat – and Murad remembered why – he was the very first human being to ever inflict defeat on Krovin – in 1191.
Nicolette Blanchfleur was trying to stop herself from instinctively laying down her arms and surrendering to this large band of Black Guards who crept up on them, with easily a hundred guns trained on her and her squad. She would not surrender – she would die proud, like the descendant of the noble French warriors that she was.
Major Alexei Kazansky was in a pickle. He had no idea how to get himself and his crew out of this dire situation, but he was sure going to try. He took a deadly VX gas grenade from his belt, and gripped it tightly, contemplating the consequences. He put his finger on the pin, but something interrupted him.
“Attention you Black Army terrorist bastards!! This is Colonel Wu Chou Fang of the Chinese People’s Liberation Army!! Surrender your arms now or face death at the hands of the glorious and heroic soldiers of China!!”
The liberating voice came from the propaganda speaker mounted on a Chinese Type 100 battle tank. It was accompanied by hundreds of others, along with Krasnorussian troops. Kazansky’s chemical warfare battalion, under the leadership of their officers, was riding on the dozens of Red Army tanks that had now surrounded the bunker.
Prior to the reinforcement, Colonel Wu Chou Fang had noticed that Black Army troops where moving dangerously close to China’s neighbor, North Korea, and that China would be in grave danger if they ever crossed the border. Moving quickly, he assembled a division of Chinese armor and picked up some of Krasnorussia’s remaining defense forces, in an attempt to stop the putsch.
The Black Guards scrambled out of the bunker and ran away into the snow, pursued by chem troopers toting their own AKM rifles. The Chinese tank groups then raised their turrets and began to open fire on the giant black-matter spider that was now somewhere in the distance. The spider turned, feeling their fire, and slowly walked towards them, the ground shaking with every step.
“Thank God for the PLA – but I still think we’re in a TARFUN-type situation.” mumbled Major Kazansky.
Then, who should show up from the back of the Krasnorussian troops but Voronov with Kyurdin and Richard! Charnaiz caught sight of his two friends and hailed them with a royal salute. They were riding on something that looked like a wormhole generator mounted on a tank. “Your Majesty!” Shouted Richard, “We have found a way to vanquish the Destroyer! We’ve repaired the wormhole generator!”
Meanwhile, Murad continued to fight on with Krovin. The Varangian was unrelenting and tireless, being fuelled by constant and fiery rage that was as hot as the fires of hell itself, appropriately. He took another swing at the twin scimitars of Murad and shattered the one in his left hand. Murad whirled backwards, in his style reminiscent of Turkish dervish-dances, and then jumped at him, kicking him in the head before landing back down. Krovin managed to catch one of his legs and throw him across the floor, causing him to hit a pillar.
“How fitting…” Krovin mumbled, “That I will crush you with a pillar in the same way that you crushed me those many centuries ago…”
Murad could not reply, and assumed that his end was near. Panting, he prayed to Allah for redemption, closed his eyes, and waited for the stone pillar to come crashing down on him. He waited an eternity – almost too long, and then opened his eyes to see that the Varangian was frozen in his tracks!
Kyurdin had used a Gondwanan device called the “gravity grenade” to lock Krovin to the ground, enabling Murad to strike him. The Turk got to his feet and did so, slashing Krovin’s heart open.
Suddenly, the giant black-matter spider began to fall apart – it seemed to melt as if something had broken within it.
Richard yelled to Voronov, “Activate the wormhole! Now!”
As the black space of the wormhole started spinning, the black-matter washed off of Aquilifon and dissolved into the ground, and Croak dropped from the Destroyer’s back. Suddenly, the wormhole was locked on Aquilifon, and he was sucked into it, along with Krovin’s remains, which seemed to scream curses of vengeance. Voronov then flipped a large switch witch shut the portal down.
“Hey! You fixed it!” Kazansky said joyously.
“Yes I did, Comrade Major. I’m a genius – that’s what they say.” Voronov said, grinning.
The men cheered – Krasnorussia and China were safe from destruction now, thanks to the efforts of these valiant heroes.
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